10 lessons I’ve learnt during weaning (so far)

Phoebe wasn’t interested in solid food until she was about six and a half months old. Before that we lovingly steamed and pureed various veg only for her to clamp her little month shut as the spoon approached. Then, during lunch one weekend, she wrestled a piece of baguette out of my hand (a carb lover, like her mother) and we were off. 

In keeping with my approach to parenting, I hadn’t read any books. Well, I’d started a Gina Ford guide to weaning for a ‘contented’ baby that held big promise, but frankly it made my head fall off. Trying to keep to her daily planner of introducing new foods on a staggeringly rigid basis was a test of patience, discipline and shopping lists that proved too much for me. I could picture Gina shaking her head at me as I closed the book for the last time. 

Since then, weaning has been a combination of purees, putting nibbly bits on her high chair table and letting her eat from our plates on occasion. In short, we’re winging it. And she’s not starving, so I’m calling it a win.

Here are some lessons I’ve learnt so far:

1. Ella is a goddess (or her father who allegedly makes those yummy pouches deserves an OBE). We use them at weekends when the thought of defrosting sloppy broccoli on the go makes my stomach turn. I’m pretty sure we’ve spent so much on them that Ella and her entire family can comfortably retire to Bermuda in 2016. 
2. What the baby doesn't eat, the dogs will. Earlier today our aged spaniel Lizzie licked up some discarded chicken casserole from the floor, while the puppy often benefits from a stray berry-flavoured rice cake, organic carrot crisp and those melty hoop things that sadly don’t taste as good as they smell. Note: descriptions of baby food make it sound delicious but they’re all rank, which quickly ended my plans of getting on Jennifer Aniston’s reported diet plan. 
3. Don’t worry about what your baby eats in a day, worry about it over a week. Sometimes distraction, teething, tiredness or whatever goes through their tiny minds means that their appetite is smaller or bigger on any given day. Don’t stress.
4. Sometimes it’s ok for a baby to eat pain au chocolat. If it keeps her quiet long enough for me to have a cup of tea in a cafe with another mum then it’s fine in my book. 
5. Don’t compare. As with crawling, talking, walking and every other developmental point of difference, what your kid eats won’t be the same as that baby over there (yes, that one happily dipping their focaccia in truffle oil with an air of sophistication). 
6. Persevere. Baby might adore your famous spag bol one day, then the next act like you've warmed up excrement in their orange plastic bowl. Chances are, they’ll like it again tomorrow. Don’t take it personally.
7. Planning helps, if you’re an organised person. I’m not. A lot of mums cook most nights and cunningly make separate portions of salt-free meals for their baby. Due to both parents working full time, at our house dinner is often cheese on toast or ordered in - and I seriously doubt Gina or Annabel would endorse me whizzing up Biryani Pot’s butter chicken or 800 Pizza’s finest pepperoni. 
8. The Nutribullet is your friend. Yes, it was bought with romantic, idealistic notions of a green juice before work leading to so much baby weight lost that friends would ask for my secret, with mock concern. It has, however, never seen spinach but is brilliant for pureeing the crap out of just about anything.
9. The contents of nappies change. I can’t say more without getting graphic, but let’s just say that you’ll yearn for the days of newborn poops once the more grown-up, umm, efforts appear.
10. Wipes. Wipes. Wipes. Great for distracting baby long enough to shove a spoon in their mouth, essential for cleaning up after and good for your handbag when you see you have Mango Baby Brekkie behind your ear in the rearview mirror on the way to work. 

Bonus tip: my very clever friend Lyndsay is a trained chef and has a blog called I Eat My Peas full of awesome recipes that can be adapted for big people and little people. Check it out here. 

A white wedding (with a pregnant bride)

As the anniversary of our 'big' wedding is tomorrow, I wanted to share this article from Bride Club ME, which appeared online a few weeks after. We were legally married the previous Christmas Eve, and I got pregnant (a very happy accident) in between, so was seven months gone as I walked/waddled down the aisle for the second time. Pure class...!

 A fairy-lit black-tie wedding on the creek

Our favourite magazine editor, Helen Spearman of Good Magazine, got married to her beau recently and we are super stoked to bring our readers the low down on her special day. Helen has always been a big supporter of Bride Club ME, and when we heard she was due to wed, we were more than happy to advise. Being a staunch supporter of home-grown talent herself, it was inevitable that Helen’s wedding would incorporate local independent vendors and lots of crafty DIY.

Featuring an ice-cream van, a fabulous vintage jeep and a breath-taking gown by Catherine Deane for BHLDN, this wedding isn’t just awesome, it’s beautiful too. Enough from us – let’s pass you over to Helen, who talks us through the occasion and leaves us with some top real bride tips!  Photo’s by Goldfish photography & Video .

"When it came to planning our big day, there were a few surprises along the way (well, one in particular). We always intended to have two weddings – one on Christmas Eve 2013 with only close family followed by lunch at La Petite Maison, and marked November 1st 2014 in the diary for the big celebration with friends travelling from all over the world. There was a slight complication though – I fell pregnant in between! It was a wonderful surprise, but a seven-month bump meant there had to be a bit of work on the bridal gown front…

I’ve never been one of those girls who planned their wedding from age 8 (no Monica-style ring binders here) but I’ve always known that I wanted a casual celebration, and preferably outdoors. Also, being the editor of good magazine, a title that celebrates small companies and creativity, as I started planning it became clear that we would like to incorporate local businesses and lots of personal, DIY touches to the big day.

We enlisted the help of planner Clare Ebbs from Aghareed, which was a smart move – she kept me sane and was invaluable on the day itself. Being far from home meant that Clare took over duties that might otherwise have fallen to friends and family, so her help was fantastic.

Once we had decided on the venue, things fell into place quickly. We wanted our friends and family to attend a blessing at Holy Trinity church, where we legally wed last year, enjoy some ice-creams from Desert Chill then travel to Marina Island on open top Big Bus Tour buses, for an evening of good fun and great food. After being a guest at a fair few weddings in our time, we wanted to make sure everyone had a blast – this included an open bar and buckets of flip-flops!"

The proposal…

I was in a foul mood on the day that Nick proposed – it definitely wasn’t my finest moment. I’d had something of a meltdown about the future, and he left me to have a nap, probably hoping that I would have cheered up when he returned home. A few hours later I was in my PJs, making bunting for a friend’s new baby – and decidedly perkier. Nick sat next to me, made a wonderful speech about us being a team and how we’re stronger together, and then revealed a beautiful ruby ring asking ‘Do you want to get hitched?’.

I had another meltdown and forgot to say yes. Our dogs watched. It was chaotic, unplanned and totally us. That night we went to a friend’s birthday and tried to keep it quiet so we didn’t hijack the party, but the ring was spotted and the evening turned into a joint celebration.

The bride & groom attire…

My dress was by Catherine Deane for BHLDN, and it was ordered before I got pregnant. You can imagine the panic. Luckily it was an empire line and I worked with a fantastic Dubai-based wedding dress designer and tailor called Suzanne Rachel to make some much-needed alterations. Shoes were by Betsey Johnson and I confess that flipflops were worn from around 6pm.

Nick has been going to Santoba tailor in Bur Dubai for years, so they made his tux, shirt and accessories, even embroidering the wedding date into the jacket.

The venues…

It was important to us that our guests came to a formal blessing, so we worked with Father Tim at Holy Trinity on a ceremony that felt right. We also wanted a good sing-along with some hymns!

The hardest part of the planning was finding a venue; I didn’t want to choose somewhere that lots of friends had been married at, so we thought about a desert party, but decided on somewhere more convenient for guests.

Marina Island is a lovely little spot right on the creek, and it was a blank canvas. I also liked that guests wouldn’t dissipate over several spaces, and loved the idea of creating a ceiling of fairy lights over the tables and dancefloor. We worked with the events team there to come up with a ‘family style’ menu of Italian sharing platters, roast beef joints that could be carved at the table by designated guests (we had personalised aprons made) and cupcakes. We wanted it to feel like a family feast that you would enjoy on holiday, followed by dancing under the stars.

The wedding theme, DIY & special touches…

I wanted the whole thing to feel magical – and fairy lights definitely helped! With so many guests travelling from the UK it would have been a real shame to stick everyone in a ballroom, and the view of the Dubai skyline from the island was perfect. With buckets of hydrangeas, live music, little personal touches (including name places that featured our spaniels), plenty of food and wine, a fancy dress box and music by DJ Tim Cheddar, we aimed for an unpretentious black-tie party.

We hope the wedding felt personal from the very beginning, from the church readings and quotes on the order of service to the advice cards we asked people to fill out. Some were wise, some were eye-opening! We also had masks made of our faces so there are some pretty spooky photos of guests looking like us, while wearing floral garlands and rabbit ears.

My dad is a big lover of Land Rovers, so we surprised him with our wedding car – a vintage model from Platinum Heritage, and the Big Bus was fantastic for out of town guests, as they enjoyed a mini tour on the way to the venue.

I worked with an Australian designer I found through Etsy to create the order of service, menus, table plan and signs, then had them printed here, which worked out much more budget-friendly than using a stationery store, though there was a bit of back and forth. We made name places using photos of our dogs, then stuck them onto luggage tags that were tied to wine glasses. If they couldn’t be there in real life this was the next best thing!

The wedding cake….

Jarful provided cupcakes in jars with personalised labels, which worked really well – the venue kindly provided a cake, but we forgot to cut it! Too busy dancing…

Most enjoyable part of the planning process…

Weirdly, once we had collected everyone’s addresses I really enjoyed sitting with Nick and sending out invitations – it just made everything feel real.

Most testing part of the wedding planning process as an expat bride…

Finding a venue was tough. Every hotel tried to offer us a ‘five-star package’, which wasn’t what we had in mind at all – we didn’t want a buffet or the dreaded covered seats (and ended up hiring Tiffany chairs and oil drum cocktail tables from Innovative Hiring.) It was also a bit tricky tracking down certain items like luggage tags, so Etsy came into its own, but I was careful to order early so the UAE postal system didn’t get in the way.

Mainly, though, it was tough having my mum so far away – I really value her opinion so there were a few email discussions and she came over for a trip to give our venue the thumbs up, which meant a lot.

Top three tips for a bride-to-be…

♡ Get a planner. Whether you use their services for the whole planning process or just on the day to pull together vendors on the day, the peace of mind is well worth the money.

♡ Don’t skimp on photography. We used Goldfish Photography & Video after seeing their style online and having a ‘getting to know you’ meeting. And don’t be shy to communicate what you want to achieve with the images, or you could end up disappointed.

♡ Add a personal touch. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by all the luxury hotels in Dubai, and lose yourself in the process. You want your guests to feel like they were at YOUR wedding, and not just a beautiful event.

For those interested in watching Helen and Nick’s gorgeous wedding video by Goldfish Photography & Video, click here.

 The Bride's Little Pink Book

 Venue: Marina Island, Dubai Creek Golf & Yacht Club / Photographer: Goldfish photography & Video / Dress: Catherine Deane for BHLDN / Flowers: Dubai Garden Centre / Make-up artist: Hannah Lisa / Hair: Beauty By EDGE / Music: Adam Baluch and DJ Tim Cheddar / Transport: Platinum Heritage and Big Bus Tours /  Ice-cream van: Desert Chill / Furniture hire: Innovative Hiring / Stationery design: White Willow Paper

Making memories

I'm a few kilos off pre-pregnancy weight and WAY off where I want to be, but is that going to stop me having photos taken in swimwear the first time Phoebe goes in the sea? Umm... NO.

The great push present debate

When my mum gave birth to me (after nine reportedly awful months of pregnancy then 24 hours of hell) my dad gave her a Phil Collins cassette. I don’t think this went down terribly well. The concept of a push present 30-odd years ago was unheard of, however, so I think he did okay.

Fast forward a few decades, and the push present is now a ‘thing’, especially in the UAE where we are quick to adopt anything a) American and b) potentially shiny. Friends in the UK are a bit baffled by whole idea, while for many women here it’s a given – even if that’s news to their husbands.

Traditionally, an eternity ring is the go-to gift for its symbolism (and the multiple diamonds don’t hurt), but really anything goes – as my dad demonstrated. Art, jewellery, a newborn photoshoot, flowers every week for a year… Basically, chaps, if your wife has been dropping hints, this might be the time to pick them up. If you agree with push presents, that is.

In the name of fairness, I’m weighing up the pros and cons of the push present…

CONS

The name

It’s a little graphic, no? I can’t help but picture whatever piece of jewellery, handbag or (ouch) car being birthed by the lucky recipient.

The logistics

Is it something you choose together? When is it given – in the hospital or at a later date? When is it too late? Do you get a gift of lesser value if you have a relatively easy birth? Can you still buy cassette tapes? So many questions. No wonder many men are a bit baffled by it all.

The comparisons

Ah, keeping up with the Joneses. You might have been perfectly happy with Phil's latest musical offering until you saw what’s-her-face’s Tiffany eternity band. But don’t forget that her husband might be a total berk who throws money at every problem, while your fella may have chosen your gift with lots of love and good intentions.

The purpose

An oft-heard argument is ‘I think of my baby whenever I see my watch/ring/Phil Collins cassette’. You shouldn’t need a trinket to think of your kid, you clown.

The expense

Buy what you can afford. Babies ain’t cheap, and those diamond earrings may have to be flogged for school fees in a few years. Something sentimental (men – chicks dig engraved stuff) will often do the job more than nicely.

PROS

The treats

I was lucky enough to have a pretty easy birth (*ducks to avoid things being thrown at me*) and my husband joked – I think he was joking – about “downgrading the push present because it wasn’t that bad”, and I wouldn’t have blamed him. As it happens, he treated me to a lovely watch and I plan to pass it onto Phoebe. At some point. Maybe. I’m thinking of it as my very first Mother’s Day gift.

The sentiment

It’s nice to have nine months of gaining weight, covering your wine glass with your hand in that insufferable way and gaining more weight before going through the indignity of birth, maternity pads and breast-feeding recognised. Of course, the baby should be ‘enough’ but don’t turn down a present, it’s just rude. Don’t, however, EXPECT a present. That’s the difference.

The conclusion

The rest of the world seems to think it’s ridiculous, buying something spenny when you’ve just taken delivery of a tiny money vacuum is ridiculous, the name is ridiculous and women who witter on about what they receive can be ridiculous. Does this mean that push presents are ridiculous? Well, would I have to give my watch back if I said yes…? I just think it’s always nice to get a present that someone wants to give you, and if he can sing You Can’t Hurry Love then that’s pretty cool too.

What do you think about push presents? And can we come up with a better name please?

10 thoughts you have during a Flywheel class

I’ve been doing Flywheel on and off for the last three years (eg I stopped when I was pregnant - any excuse - and when I’m skint it’s a bit of a luxury) and love to hate it. For the uninitiated, it’s basically spinning, but in a pitch black room, with amazing music and a much more competitive vibe. I think it’s pretty fair to call it a cult. In a nice, neon Lycra-clad way.

In my darker moments during a session my brain tries to escape; I’ve had full-blown fantasies about unclipping my shoes and going next door for a Costa, and I don’t even drink coffee. This is what goes through my mind in most classes…

1. This is it. The answer to my weight loss woes. 45 minutes of pure, calorie burning awesomeness. I'm a new woman in my new leggings. 
2. Just going to scope out the other riders and check my form in the mirror while the lights are still on. Oh dear – side profile in the new leggings is not a good look. 
3. Is that girl just wearing a sports bra? I’m 15 years too old for this. Please turn the lights off NOW. 
4. We’re sprinting. We’re hitting 100. I think my legs might fall off. Oh god, I think I can smell the wine I drank last night. 
5. Who was it that just whooped way too loudly? What a pillock. 
6. We’re climbing. I think I’m going to black out. 
7. My song! I love this song! Good grief, I was just singing loudly without realising it. 
8. I never knew this song was so long. I HATE this song.
9. Time for arms. Must not hit myself in the face with my weight. Ouch.
10. Never doing that again. How many calories did I burn? Wow. Okay. That was worth the puce face I’ll have for the next three hours. 

Illustration by Pin Dippy